i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
