Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
