Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
