Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?