How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick