so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass