NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize