# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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