Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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