you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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