So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize