Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
