i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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