while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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