i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
