I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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