Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize