Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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