the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
