Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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