Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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