just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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