We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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