The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
