he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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