don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize