what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
