oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she pinky promised me she was 18
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
