You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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