how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
In America we eat man semen.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
