New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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