I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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