xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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