Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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