i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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