Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
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he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste