you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.