I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
