the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.