either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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