lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
