Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
