I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
