Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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