I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
