my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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