i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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