I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
