omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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