I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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