woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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