so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
