I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
