On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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