I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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