I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
