i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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