So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
