How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
