Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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