wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
