i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I look excited, but its just a facade.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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